A few years ago, I was driving home from work to try and get home before the freezing rain showed up.  When I was just a quarter mile from my house, the freezing rain started to stick to the road.  In the meantime, I had someone behind me crawling up my tailpipe.  Right as I was getting ready to turn into my subdivision, I slid and made sweet love to a curb.  I managed to get my car into my subdivision and then stopped.  The car behind me also stopped and the driver proceeded to get out and scream at me, as if making sweet love to the curb was not jarring enough.  I noticed, within a matter of days from the incident, that the screamer happened to live on my street.  Over time, as he walked his dog passed me, he would greet me.  In fact, whenever he sees me, he always says, “Hello, Dear!”

Tonight, he came up to me with his dog as I was working on cleaning a headlight… mind out of the gutter; I’m talking about my car.  After a bit of small talk, he then proceeded to say that there had been something weighing on him.  Apparently a year ago, he realized that I was the driver of the car in front of him who he had screamed at and he had felt terrible about it.  He proceeded to apologize by telling me that he should never have been driving so close to me in the first place and because of that incident, he has actually become a more patient and more mellowed out driver.  I knew even as he uncomfortably went into the subject what he was talking about.  I have the memory of an elephant, and remember every detail of that incident.  He went on about it for a bit and I responded letting him know that everything is okay and to not beat himself up over it.  He thanked me, and then we worked as a team to get rid of a solicitor who was going door to door as there are signs at the entrance to my subdivision stating that solicitations were not allowed… not very many people read or take heed.  The guy then walked on with his dog, thanking me for allowing him to get rid of his guilt.  I could tell that a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and I was happy to oblige.

We have all done things that we are not proud of.  I know I have wronged others and I have always tried to apologize for my actions.  When I lived with my grandmother, I did wrong her and while I always had the intention of making it right, I was not able to do so before she died.  That is something that will always stay with me. Whether we adopt a religious philosophy, or have a parent who teaches us right from wrong, we do know when we have messed up. Yet, how many of us actually own up to it?  I have learned never to expect an apology from others when I have felt that I have been wronged.  So when it happened today, I was touched by it.  I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that it is important for us to be accountable for our actions, no matter the length of time that has passed.  It is better to ask for one’s forgiveness five years later than to wait until it is too late.  By taking accountability, we not only are doing the right thing, but we set an example for others to hopefully do the right thing as well.  As someone who was on the other end, I can vouch that no matter how long, it helped me to mentally finalize that incident. To know that some good came out of it turned it into a better story for my memory bank.

Accountability. It’s a very good thing. Give it a shot.

Women are important to society and more than just to help churn out more children or to clean.  Women took over factory jobs when men went to war, and also had to maintain the home.  Women have donned flight jackets and climbed into the position of test pilots.  Women also put on the uniform and ball cap and provided entertainment on the ball field, also during war.  Women have typically had to wear more than one hat at a time, such as nurturer, maid, cook, and  the rock.  While the roles of gender stratification are slowly blurring in our society, women still have a ways to go before we are a level playing field with men.  However, having a good part of the country watching and rooting for the US women’s team brings us one step closer.

Traditional marriage is supposedly under attack, but if what is considered to be “traditional marriage” allows teenagers and first cousins to marry, what is it that is in so much danger by adding same-sex marriages to the table? Alfred Kinsey found that about 50% of men and 26% of women had sex outside of their marriages at one point in time. That means, out of this institution that somehow needs protection, a large percentage of spouses are stepping out on each other. So, we have teenagers and cousins who can get married, have their marriages recognized throughout the country, then can step out on each other. (Even in states that do not allow the marriages to originate, they must recognize them. i.e. first cousins cannot get married in WV, so they have to hop the border to MD or VA, get hitched, and then it can be recognized back in WV.) Yet, I cannot have a valid marriage to another woman recognized in my state or in other states unless it’s one of the six. The interstate rule against this is because of DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act). I repeat: What is being defended?

It seems to me that there are far bigger fish to fry than to ensure that a certain population cannot marry due to not being able to naturally procreate. That leads me to another thing; I have heard the line that marriage is needed in order for procreation. If procreation is the stipulator, what about married couples who never have children? I mean, what’s the point of their union?

Just a little food for thought.

Now, speaking of elections… I believe it is safe to assume that when we all thought Palin was the craziest bitch in politics, someone had to prove that one wrong. Enter, Michelle Bachmann. Yes, we know she considers herself the leader of the teabaggers, but damn is this woman out there.  First of all, signing an agreement stating that, among other things, African-American families would have been better off if they were still enslaved is not something a candidate for any public office should agree to.  To top it off with her and her husband believing that gays can become straight is really out there.  I would dive into her husband, but Jon Stewart did a very good piece on him.

Now, being that I am one of those subhuman gay people… I think Marcus Bachmann compared my peeps to barbarians… I do have to take a moment and bring you to my gay corner for a little gay chat.

I think it’s great that we have another election coming down the pike next year.  Too bad we can’t push off dealing with the candidates until three months prior… just a thought.  Yet, what irritates me is that instead of focusing being federalist or anti-federalist, we have to throw in personal issues such as admonishing gays by signing stupid pledges.  Is the gay community in this country such a threat to the ideals of democracy? Does it really get in the way of Americans living freely? Does anyone else find it a bit ironic that the party that is supposed to be about staying out of the lives of everyday people seems to be really focused on doing just the opposite by dictating that certain individuals are now allowed the same rights and protections due to what happens in the bedroom?  Okay, I just wanted to be sure that it wasn’t just me.

Now, onto other stuff that has no sexual orientation… so to speak.

One event that I do find to be quite interesting is the Rupert Murdoch scandal.  Being that he owns everything Fox, I do wonder if more people will finally realize that Fox News is unfair and imbalanced. Granted, with Glenn Beck off the air, Fox News is a better place, but I still consider it one of the three horsemen when it comes to News.  I do wonder how the conservative crowd who has typically looked at the station for picking the most ignorant candidates will take Fox News will do. By the way, I have heard that Glenn Beck is moving to Texas. If there was ever a time to make that state a country, now’s the time!

I believe I have posted about this in the past, but Memorial Day has great meaning to me. It is a day that we take pause to honor and thank those who died while serving this country. No, I do not have any family who died while serving. All three generations of us made it through our time in the military. Nonetheless, some of our brothers and sisters in uniform were no so fortunate and they gave their lives to fight causes for this country. Granted, we might not always agree with certain wars or conflicts, but we should support those who took the oath to support and defend the Constitution… to support and protect our way of life. So, between shopping for that discounted mattress and firing up the coals for a nice cookout, please take some time to give thanks for those who gave their lives so that you could get a deal on a queen size bed and enjoy a nice juicy steak. There are thousands upon thousands of Americans who no longer have that luxury due to what they did for this grateful nation.

Happy Memorial Day!

I will make my way to the Cherry Blossom Festival again this year.  I have a feeling that the tone will be a bit different than in past years. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t dream about being anywhere else, especially when one of this country’s greatest allies is in need of our support.

At this time of year we have things going on.  Some are dealing with work issues, others might be dealing with families, or perhaps even some just have a case of the winter blues.  However, I wanted to share something with you that happened on my way home from work this evening. No, I did not find Jesus… not that I’m looking. Something else did happen though.

As I was driving home, I happened to look over to notice some super duty ambulances and a couple white buses.  As I passed, both of the ambulances had “Walter Reed Medical Center” on the side.  The busses were headed towards the airport to greet injured soldiers.

Many of these soldiers who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan are younger than me, which means that it is highly likely that some of the injured who have touched down in Maryland are also younger than me.  To think, these kids have already seen more violence than I have and have experienced God knows what.  On top of that, these soldiers have experienced injuries sufficient to be sent back to the States and to be greeted by ambulances to take them onto their next step of recovery.  Chances are, some of these soldiers will be dealing with years of therapy just to gain some semblance of a life to where they can try to function.  To think, that in one moment, something  happened over there.  In a single moment, these soldiers lives have been altered and while I was headed home, these soldiesr have landed in their home, but they have a long way still to go.

I have been asked to write about the rally that took place on 30 October. Unfortunately, due to events that  Friday night, and a midterm that I had to finish, I did not make it down. However, LLL who writes My Musings (located on the bar to the right), did make it to the rally and wrote about her experience.   While I did not make it to the rally, I did spend a good part of my Halloween hanging out with LLL and her entourage. That’s right, she has her own entourage, and deservedly so!  Being that I have never met any of my fellow bloggers, I was not completely sure what to expect. I must say, LLL is a total riot and we really should work on getting a show on NPR.  It doesn’t have to be much… perhaps just an hour long.  I am not going to go into too many details since she is going to post about it.  It will probably be a couple lines, like: “I met D… dear God why???” or “D showed up with proof of  a rabies vaccine. I was not sure why until the sun started to set and she started getting a bit furry. It turns out that she’s housebroken.”

Now, speaking of housebroken, has anyone actually watched Sarah Palin’s Alaska? Yeah, I haven’t either.  I really don’t want to know about Sarah Palin’s Alaska. I just wish she would stay there.

In other news, you must have heard by new that President Obama received 12 stitches due to a very physical game of basketball. My response: At least he did not choke on a pretzel.  You know you were thinking it as well.

I hate to keep this short, but surprisingly enough, I have a crap-ton of things going on.  I just wanted to check in with you kind and very patient folks. I hope you all had a wonderful turkey day and I look forward to the day when I can crank out these postings at a more regular interval.  The pace should pick up again after July. I know, you can hardly wait!

When I decided to join the Navy, I felt that if I could stay closeted from my dad and step-mom at home, and from my friends and classmates at school, I could easily handle four years of following the same course.  Little did I know what a struggle I had carved out for myself.  Rumors did make their way around the barracks and I still tried to convince myself that I could be straight and have an easier life.  Eventually, I came to terms with the fact that this is who I am and it did get to be a bit easier.  I had a few folks who were there for me and protected me, to include a Master Chief who looked out for me.

The day I signed my separation papers, a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.  I could finally be me and not worry about the loss of my livelihood if the wrong person were to find out.  I finally told my dad after I reentered the civilian world of my sexuality.  He’s not happy about having a lesbian daughter, but he has come to terms with it as best as he can.  The one person who I had the most difficult time coming out to was my second mom.  For her to not accept me would have been a very hard pill to take, as she was one of my two major confidants through high school and who I have always admired.  About six years ago, on a visit back home, I shared this part of my life with her and she welcomed me with open arms.  I realized then that I should have told her years prior.

The majority of my friends who are local to me are straight, but they all accept me for who I am and don’t care as to who I am attracted to. If anything, my crazy dating stories are an entertaining addition of what I bring to the table. My neighbors also know that I’m the “resident gay” and have not torched my house.  In fact, I was welcomed into the house of one neighbor to participate in Thanksgiving last year.

I think that for many of us, depending on when we realize that we are gay, we wonder what losses we might suffer in our friendships once we are open about ourselves, as well as how other folks will relate to us.  I can say that I feel as if I cared way too much.  Being a lesbian is a small part of who I am, but something that I am very proud of.  Seeing where we are now in society, we are gaining more acceptance from others, and are slowly gaining the same rights that our straight brothers and sisters have enjoyed in this country.

With the recent cases of suicides that have been caused by gays and lesbians being bullied, I have to say that I know what these folks are going through. Even without being bullied, being in the minority can be challenging, but life does get better and it’s getting through those rough periods that make us stronger.  It is so hard to be in darkness and to think that anything is going to change for the better, but it does.  So, to my straight friends, I ask you to please lend a shoulder when you see folks going through a rough time.  It was those straight allies who I had in my corner who helped save me.

To my gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered friends, I wish you a wonderful National Coming Out Day! To my straight friends, thank you for being open-minded and for not judging me because of who I love.  It means the world to me!