Political Morsels and Other Droppings

I am not a religious person. My beliefs and morals are not derived from any holy book out there, yet I am a very principled person.  I learned the difference between right and wrong from my mom.  She also instilled in me that if I make a promise, I better keep it.  To this day, I do not throw the word around very often because I believe in the strength of a promise.  I find it disappointing when others make a promise and never keep it, but it happens frequently in this day and age.  I also have manners. Yes, I cuss like a sailor, but it depends on where I am at and who is around.  I also will hold the door for others, say “please” and “thank you”, and will even excuse myself from the table.  I also believe in accountability.  I have always had a huge conscience and whenever I have done something wrong, I have always felt pretty bad within a matter of time.   I have also owned up to my actions. I believe it is important to do so.  In recent times, I have noticed just how many people do not take accountability for their actions. It absolutely drives me crazy.  I also cannot stand excuses. In fact, excuses are like assholes, everyone has one.  This evening, however, something happened that touched me and I figured that I should share this.

A few years ago, I was driving home from work to try and get home before the freezing rain showed up.  When I was just a quarter mile from my house, the freezing rain started to stick to the road.  In the meantime, I had someone behind me crawling up my tailpipe.  Right as I was getting ready to turn into my subdivision, I slid and made sweet love to a curb.  I managed to get my car into my subdivision and then stopped.  The car behind me also stopped and the driver proceeded to get out and scream at me, as if making sweet love to the curb was not jarring enough.  I noticed, within a matter of days from the incident, that the screamer happened to live on my street.  Over time, as he walked his dog passed me, he would greet me.  In fact, whenever he sees me, he always says, “Hello, Dear!”

Tonight, he came up to me with his dog as I was working on cleaning a headlight… mind out of the gutter; I’m talking about my car.  After a bit of small talk, he then proceeded to say that there had been something weighing on him.  Apparently a year ago, he realized that I was the driver of the car in front of him who he had screamed at and he had felt terrible about it.  He proceeded to apologize by telling me that he should never have been driving so close to me in the first place and because of that incident, he has actually become a more patient and more mellowed out driver.  I knew even as he uncomfortably went into the subject what he was talking about.  I have the memory of an elephant, and remember every detail of that incident.  He went on about it for a bit and I responded letting him know that everything is okay and to not beat himself up over it.  He thanked me, and then we worked as a team to get rid of a solicitor who was going door to door as there are signs at the entrance to my subdivision stating that solicitations were not allowed… not very many people read or take heed.  The guy then walked on with his dog, thanking me for allowing him to get rid of his guilt.  I could tell that a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and I was happy to oblige.

We have all done things that we are not proud of.  I know I have wronged others and I have always tried to apologize for my actions.  When I lived with my grandmother, I did wrong her and while I always had the intention of making it right, I was not able to do so before she died.  That is something that will always stay with me. Whether we adopt a religious philosophy, or have a parent who teaches us right from wrong, we do know when we have messed up. Yet, how many of us actually own up to it?  I have learned never to expect an apology from others when I have felt that I have been wronged.  So when it happened today, I was touched by it.  I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that it is important for us to be accountable for our actions, no matter the length of time that has passed.  It is better to ask for one’s forgiveness five years later than to wait until it is too late.  By taking accountability, we not only are doing the right thing, but we set an example for others to hopefully do the right thing as well.  As someone who was on the other end, I can vouch that no matter how long, it helped me to mentally finalize that incident. To know that some good came out of it turned it into a better story for my memory bank.

Accountability. It’s a very good thing. Give it a shot.

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