Political Morsels and Other Droppings

I’m exhausted, but I couldn’t stop myself from my teeny tiny little reaction to the results of Question 1 in Maine….

Dear 53%,

First off, WHAT THE FUCK???!!???   Okay, so apparently voting to allow pot to be a bit more easily accessible is much more important to the majority of the voters in Maine than that of individual rights. Congratulations for taking the opportunity to turn things around by showing the American people that WE ALL DESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY (or miserable and end up in divorce court) and taking a GIANT SHIT on it!!!  Oh, and I’m not talking about a cute little “I only had a grape popsicle” shit.  I’m talking about a “I had Mexican for dinner with a double helping of the refried beans without my Pepto” type of shit…. you know what I’m talking about.

Were you really ignorant enough to believe that the gays were going to invade your children’s classrooms and that gay marriage was going to be shoved in their faces?  Let me guess, you also believe that the government is going to kill you if the Public Option ends up in Universal Health Care.  For those of you devout Catholics, were you afraid that Jane and Sue were going to show up at your church, pull your minister away from one of the alter boys and force him to perform a marriage ceremony against his will?

I suppose you believe that by voting against gay marriage, you were doing your part to ensure that them evil “homersexuals” don’t end up next door to you.  Guess what?  We already have you surrounded.  Yes, we might seem like a nice straight couple living next door to you in our single-wide with our seven children, but we’re really both gay, living under cover in an effort to lure your son or daughter over to brainwash him/her into being a gay.  Once we have turned every child gay, we will load them up on buses and take the boys to Broadway and the girls to learn how to play softball and soccer.  Then, and only then, will the transformation be complete!!!!

There are quite a few things I don’t understand or care for, like olives.  Seriously, I abhor them. Many people happen to enjoy olives. I guess because I have no tolerance for olives to just be there on the shelves at the grocery store, minding their own business in their evil glass jars, I should get a petition together and see if I can have a referendum to banish all olives from the state of Maryland.  Sounds pretty fucking stupid, doesn’t it?  I mean, if I don’t like olives, I should just avoid them and keep them available to those who enjoy them.  After all, their desire for olives isn’t hurting me, is it? It’s not like eating olives are enforced in school.  In fact, I don’t even recall seeing olives in any of the cafeterias of the schools I attended.

Your state brought forth Prohibition on the rest of the country… essentially ruining a good thing for about 13 years.  You had the opportunity to finally set an example for something that wasn’t a buzz kill, something a bit progressive and wild…. like affording equal rights to everyone.  This was your chance to say to your tax-paying, house-flipping, re-gentrifying, economy-boosting, fellow citizens that although you don’t have any designs on having two men or women on your wedding cake (or Twinkie), you weren’t going to step in their way. However, you didn’t take that route, did you?  Nope.

Years from now people will look back and wonder how a collection of people could have the lack of decency, the lack of fairness in their hearts to deny a segment of the population the opportunity to realize a dream that every other group, from racial to religious, has in this country.

Congrats. You really fucked up.